Comments on: Geeky weddings! http://www.laraswansonphoto.com/blog/index.php/geeky-weddings/ Nontraditional, Offbeat and Alternative Photographer Wed, 11 Aug 2010 19:11:22 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Alice http://www.laraswansonphoto.com/blog/index.php/geeky-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-238 Alice Thu, 08 May 2008 23:29:08 +0000 http://laraswansonphoto.com/blog/?p=219#comment-238 I know, when a couple are combining two established households, they'll often already have all the things they need. In that case, if they don't feel they want any of those items to be chosen by the two of them together, I think that asking for donations in the name of a charity is quite all right and would probably be regarded as a noble thing by many friends. But I've known couples who really wanted to have new things together in their new marriage, and gave away the items from their existing households. They could be given to a homeless project or to an organization that helps needy families--I hope NOT dumped in a landfill! On the other hand, they might choose to keep that brand-new toaster, toward the time when their "old heirloom toaster" finally gives up the ghost! We greatly value the many items we have and regularly use, that were wedding gifts back in 1956. What I--and probably Caryn--think is low-class and tacky is the grasping attitude so many people have when they ask for money for themselves. I know, when a couple are combining two established households, they’ll often already have all the things they need. In that case, if they don’t feel they want any of those items to be chosen by the two of them together, I think that asking for donations in the name of a charity is quite all right and would probably be regarded as a noble thing by many friends. But I’ve known couples who really wanted to have new things together in their new marriage, and gave away the items from their existing households. They could be given to a homeless project or to an organization that helps needy families–I hope NOT dumped in a landfill! On the other hand, they might choose to keep that brand-new toaster, toward the time when their “old heirloom toaster” finally gives up the ghost! We greatly value the many items we have and regularly use, that were wedding gifts back in 1956. What I–and probably Caryn–think is low-class and tacky is the grasping attitude so many people have when they ask for money for themselves.

]]> By: Lara http://www.laraswansonphoto.com/blog/index.php/geeky-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-237 Lara Thu, 08 May 2008 22:09:06 +0000 http://laraswansonphoto.com/blog/?p=219#comment-237 That's an interesting point, Alice! But what about the couple who already has all of the living accessories that they need? What do they ask for then, when people want to give them gifts? I know a number of couples who have decided to ask for donations given to charities instead of receiving a gift, because they do not want any more material gifts in their household. That’s an interesting point, Alice! But what about the couple who already has all of the living accessories that they need? What do they ask for then, when people want to give them gifts? I know a number of couples who have decided to ask for donations given to charities instead of receiving a gift, because they do not want any more material gifts in their household.

]]> By: Alice http://www.laraswansonphoto.com/blog/index.php/geeky-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-236 Alice Thu, 08 May 2008 20:57:46 +0000 http://laraswansonphoto.com/blog/?p=219#comment-236 I'm always so happy to see that a couple has had a potluck reception. One of the nicest weddings we ever attended was that of a bride and groom on an extremely low budget--bridesmaids wore dresses they already had, carried garlands of ivy which were laid down at the front of the church, becoming part of the decoration, and flowers were from people's gardens. The reception was at a friend's house, and was a true potluck (I disagree that a planned potluck has to be called a buffet). In neither case were the couple's parents present, so all of us congregants became their "family" for the day. The result was a loving, close community gathering of friends and surrogate family. On another topic, I definitely think it's tacky and low-class to solicit money from anyone to help pay for a wedding in any way. I'm speaking up as a "senior" person, with a 52-year marriage behind me. When we registered in "our day" it was only for dishes and flatware, not towels, sheets, pans, etc.--although I really like that couples do register those things, as well as for colors used in their homes. But absolutely I draw the line at asking for money! I’m always so happy to see that a couple has had a potluck reception. One of the nicest weddings we ever attended was that of a bride and groom on an extremely low budget–bridesmaids wore dresses they already had, carried garlands of ivy which were laid down at the front of the church, becoming part of the decoration, and flowers were from people’s gardens. The reception was at a friend’s house, and was a true potluck (I disagree that a planned potluck has to be called a buffet). In neither case were the couple’s parents present, so all of us congregants became their “family” for the day. The result was a loving, close community gathering of friends and surrogate family.

On another topic, I definitely think it’s tacky and low-class to solicit money from anyone to help pay for a wedding in any way. I’m speaking up as a “senior” person, with a 52-year marriage behind me. When we registered in “our day” it was only for dishes and flatware, not towels, sheets, pans, etc.–although I really like that couples do register those things, as well as for colors used in their homes. But absolutely I draw the line at asking for money!

]]> By: Lara http://www.laraswansonphoto.com/blog/index.php/geeky-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-235 Lara Thu, 08 May 2008 17:08:49 +0000 http://laraswansonphoto.com/blog/?p=219#comment-235 Caryn, I don't think you're showing your age. I definitely have noticed that the etiquette is changing - perhaps catering to the ease of shopping online? What were registries like before the online consumer experience? Maybe we just feel more comfortable using the web for purposes like these nowadays. Caryn, I don’t think you’re showing your age. I definitely have noticed that the etiquette is changing – perhaps catering to the ease of shopping online? What were registries like before the online consumer experience? Maybe we just feel more comfortable using the web for purposes like these nowadays.

]]> By: Caryn http://www.laraswansonphoto.com/blog/index.php/geeky-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-234 Caryn Thu, 08 May 2008 17:06:07 +0000 http://laraswansonphoto.com/blog/?p=219#comment-234 Since I've always been taught (and agreed) that soliciting gifts or donations is tacky, does this mark a change in wedding etiquette in general? It sometimes feels like people having special occasions (weddings, confirmations, even birthdays and C'mas) are being encouraged to put in orders for specific gifts, instead of taking in good grace what friends and family want to give them. Even though I used a gift registry when I got married, I've always felt like even telling people where you're registered is a little shady. Soliciting for people to pay for your rings, honeymoon, etc., just seems like way too much! Am I showing my age, here? Since I’ve always been taught (and agreed) that soliciting gifts or donations is tacky, does this mark a change in wedding etiquette in general? It sometimes feels like people having special occasions (weddings, confirmations, even birthdays and C’mas) are being encouraged to put in orders for specific gifts, instead of taking in good grace what friends and family want to give them. Even though I used a gift registry when I got married, I’ve always felt like even telling people where you’re registered is a little shady. Soliciting for people to pay for your rings, honeymoon, etc., just seems like way too much! Am I showing my age, here?

]]> By: Lara http://www.laraswansonphoto.com/blog/index.php/geeky-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-233 Lara Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:18:02 +0000 http://laraswansonphoto.com/blog/?p=219#comment-233 Haha thanks Carp for the clarification :) Haha thanks Carp for the clarification :)

]]> By: Carp; http://www.laraswansonphoto.com/blog/index.php/geeky-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-232 Carp; Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:16:45 +0000 http://laraswansonphoto.com/blog/?p=219#comment-232 Great ideas. Pet peeve, by definition 'pot luck' means you take what shows up. If it's organized, it's a buffet. Great ideas.

Pet peeve, by definition ‘pot luck’ means you take what shows up. If it’s organized, it’s a buffet.

]]> By: Kari http://www.laraswansonphoto.com/blog/index.php/geeky-weddings/comment-page-1/#comment-231 Kari Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:40:45 +0000 http://laraswansonphoto.com/blog/?p=219#comment-231 Awesome ideas! Makes me wish these sorts of things were around when I got married (and that was just 6 1/2 years ago - technology changes so much in so little time). Oh well - these ideas work just as well for anniversary parties too! Awesome ideas! Makes me wish these sorts of things were around when I got married (and that was just 6 1/2 years ago – technology changes so much in so little time). Oh well – these ideas work just as well for anniversary parties too!

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